It's Ok

This has been the roughest time in my 25 years on earth!!!!!!!! I have reached the lowest point where I felt like taking myself out and I have experienced the greatest point as well. I read Deepak Chopra's "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" and all I can say is wow!
I celebrated my birthday essentially under the covers and on my face feeling like an absolute failure and waste of resources. I have been struggling with unemployment, broken relationships, rejection, and a hollow emptiness. I quickly became bitter and upset with God about the series of disappointing events that have occured within these few months. I felt alone, upset, bambozzled, and MAD!!!
But Thank God for mercy and grace! I read Chopra's book and felt spiritually renewed. This book literally had me running to my Bible and seeking forgiveness and a quelling of an immediate hunger for God's word. Seems a little backwards I know but I literally can't explain it.
I was at my absolute lowest point and even though my situation in the physical world had not changed, my mental and spiritual world completely flip flopped! I am loved by God and he does have a plan greater for me. I have not produced income in over 5 months, and I am still blessed. Although I do have over $60k in student loans to pay back (I'm sure they'll be knocking next month), I have been blessed to not have credit. Yes, blessed. I have only one credit card whose $500 limit was maxed long ago, I have been living off the prayers and seeds of those who love me and understand that I am not in this situation of my own will, but because God has predestined me for a greater calling I must go through this season to be grateful and understanding of it. I know it sounds cliche but unless you have sat where I sat, you couldn't understand.
When you have nothing, God allows you to see the beauty in life through things that truly matter. The smile on my son's face, you feel joy when you cook a meal that others appreciate, you wrap yourself in the scents of the wind, and the beauty of nature. I am happy because I am. Yes, I have my days when I slip and feel sad, but I bounce back because I know that however long this lasts, it won't be forever.
I am learning to trust God and depend on him. I must say that this is a lesson that I thought I learned many years ago, but he had to put me in a place where I literally have NO ONE else to depend on! I thank Him for this transformation, for this season, for this new vision.
My situation is OK for me. It's a tight place, and its a very uncomfortable place, but it's OK. I have seen the vision of my future and it can't stay this way for long. It's OK.